Empire: State of Mind
by TikkyChan
Summary: Something is off. The Vongola gets attacked, but no one knows by who'm yet and then Tsuna gets kidnapped...by his father? What will happen? SLASH, RAPE, PSYCHOLOGICAL! RATED M to be safe!


Hey, you guys!  
Actually, there's another story I have to put an end to - Dubious Doctor, i case someone knows. And if that's really the case, I need to tell you: I will continue with that short story soon, and I'm sorry for not writing for so long.

Now, to get to the bottom of this:  
There's an Idea, with the Name "Empire: State of Mind", in my head for a while and suddenly, I woke up and had the Idea to make it not just a normal One Shot, but also write a FanFiction about it, since the Idea of exactly that story, popped up in my head. Don't know if you know what I'm trying to say, but go on and read it, but please note the **WARNINGS** in the summary.

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN REBORN OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTER - I ONLY OWN THIS PLOT **

**And if you have any problem with one of the things that I already warned you, then don't start reading, or shut up later, since you HAVE BEEN WARNED! Though, you still might say something, if you expected anything that you didn't get, or whatever.  
Reviews are always appreciated, since I'm a bit unsure with this story, I just felt I wanted to write it and now I wonder what you guys think about it.**

Well now - have fun! (or not, but that's up to you)

* * *

We're just in the middle of a fight again. And now we're here – at home. Or rather, _I'm_ at home.  
With the young ones, that is.  
Sighing, I get up from the floor, to walk over to the front door. Maybe I should take a look?  
Watch out for them, or search the area? My father and Reborn are taking way too long.  
What could possibly keep them from returning?  
I don't even know what kind of enemy we're up to, this time. We were attacked.  
We fought.  
We defended our people.  
Then they were gone.  
We don't even know lots about their strength – don't know their abilities, or what they try to achieve by declaring war on us.  
I sigh again and take a turn, back to the living room – right when I hear a soft knock behind me.  
"Father?", I ask. Stupid question – since I can see him, standing in the doorway.  
A little bit relieved – though, I would never admit it – I look at him, smiling. That is, till I notice something is actually missing.  
Or more like 'someone'. "Where's Reborn?"  
He looks at me in a somewhat reassuring manner. "Don't worry. He's okay. But I need to show you something – the others shouldn't know about it, so hurry up and follow me."  
"Why? What is it?" My feet are like glued to the ground – not moving an inch.  
"Just follow me", he demands.  
A little puzzled, I let my eyes wander. No one's around. No one seems to have noticed him.  
So I look back at him, a little skeptical. "Are you sure? What if we need help, or something?"  
"We won't" His brown eyes look straight into my own and I sigh again. What a strange day.  
"Okay, then let's go."  
We leave the house together, without anyone caring about, or even getting it. Just as planned, I guess  
_I really shouldn't have trusted him…_

"So…what do we do here?" My question seems a bit off, since we didn't talk all the way.  
Now we're here, but…what exactly is _here_? It looks like an old room, or something. We went inside some apartment building to get here, so what's the purpose?  
I don't see or feel anyone in here – let alone Reborn. It's just an old room, in an old building.  
Nothing else.  
With an offending click, I hear the door shut behind me. Not good.  
The whole room is dark. Shady.  
My father is right behind me and I can't tell why, but I get the feeling, that I really am about to be in some serious trouble.  
And I'm proven right, as a hand gabs mine from the place where the door should be and the next moment, I feel a warm chest pressing against my back.  
"Maybe you shouldn't have been that careless…", says the man in question with the voice of my own father.  
"Who are you?"  
"Me?", he says, sounding a little bit sad. "I'm your father, can't you see that?"  
"I can't. Not at the moment." Truthfully, since he's behind my back. "And I don't believe you. Why would my father take me to a place like this, saying he would have to show me something?"  
Somehow…my head hurts. I'm starting to get dizzy. Maybe it's because of the dim lit room?  
Yeah, that must be it. And because there's not much oxygen in here, I'm starting to feel dizzy.  
I should just get out of here. Now.  
In an attempt to set myself free, I try to fight against his iron grip on my right wrist, but the more I fight, the more he seems to be clenching down on my arm.  
A pained little groan escapes my lips, as he grabs me with his other hand to and jerks me farther away from the door, more to one of the walls. No, not the walls.  
The next sound I let out, is a startled cry, as he just throws me on something that resembles a bed – but it reeks like something just died there. Or more like it died _in_ there – probably inside the mattress.  
Putting my urge to puke aside, I don't even get the time to recollect myself while I can already feel the sheets under me sinking in and hear the metal parts squeak. Someone just accompanied me on this filthy so called _bed_.  
Gulping, I try to comprehend what's happening and manage to turn around to look at him. Yes, he seems to be my father. But I can't really tell what's going on.  
"Why are you doing this to me?" My question comes out unsure and in a faint voice.  
"I need to test you", is all he says.  
The next thing I know is that he grabs me again and climbs over me, with his knees digging into the stiff mattress on both sides of my hips.  
The skin on my legs gets chilly from the Goosebumps that's now covering my whole body. I feel strange.  
This time, I really do. I'm sure something is off – I mean, a lot is, but something else too.  
That guy is most definitely not my father, but I don't know what he's up to. I just get a strange feeling of what might come.  
And then it happens. Just like that. He leans down, grabs both of my shoulders to hold me in place and presses his lips on mine.  
The stinging, disgusting feeling of his mouth is clouding my mind, as he harshly moves against me. Suddenly, I can feel his wet tongue licking over my bottom lip first, then biting down violently.  
The pain came surprising and let me jump – even a little squeal was let out and as I opened my mouth involuntarily, he shoved his soft and hot muscle right into my throat.  
He started to lick, and to claim my own cavern. The taste of iron – probably blood from the bite on my lower lip before – and something I can't seem to point out filled my senses.  
As he dipped his tongue in all the wrong places, I couldn't help but yelp. The muffled sounds I was uttering though, seemed to encourage him even more, as he plundered everything I had to offer.  
Always playing with my tongue, trying to make me do the same.  
It's disgusting.  
Finally, he backs away – leaving a trail of salvia between or parted lips.  
I can't breathe. My face must be bright red.  
"Now don't say you didn't like it. You sure look like you enjoyed it a lot."  
"That's not true!", I try to defend myself.  
The first tears are building in the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall. But I won't let him have that victory.  
What's his goal anyway? Who is that bastard?! "Who are you?" This time, my voice held bitterness. I try to keep myself from shaking, as I stare him down.  
"As I said. I'm who I seem to be."  
"No." My eyes are closed. I can't look at him.  
But the peace isn't going to last for too long. So I'm about to jump out of my skin, as I feel a big, rough hand on one of my thighs. My shorts aren't covering my legs that much and he just seems to like it that way, cause he starts caressing the sensitive skin, near the hem of my shorts on the inside of my thighs.  
I hate the quiet noises I try to hold back, as he travels higher, playing under the leg of my pants. I watch him undoing my belt and then opening the button of my shorts.  
Why can't I move? It's like I'm frozen. But I can still feel every part of my body, even if I wished it wasn't like that.  
"Stop…" He doesn't even pretend to listen. "Don't do it…"  
But it's already too late. In a swift motion, he just rips down my pants, as well as my underwear.  
The only thing I can do, Is trying to close my shaking legs and press them together as tight as I can.  
"Don't be scared. I will make you feel good."  
His words make me hold back tears again. Why is it, that I start to cry _now?  
_Maybe because I can't run away anymore?  
But why can't I even fight back? As if my body doesn't want me to. I really feel strange.  
It's hot in here. I need to get out. But I can't.  
Panic is taking over my mind. The clouds from before are just getting darker and heavier.  
I need to get out – I need to get away!  
That's the moment, when this asshole reaches out for my legs, easily spreading them apart in one violent and fast movement, and then drawing me closer to his crotch.  
He himself is kneeling on the mattress again. The shirt he was wearing is gone. His trousers are wide open – did he do that, while I panicked? All of that?  
My heart starts to race at that very moment. The moment that makes clear what is going to happen and what is inevitable.  
That guy let go of one of my legs, just to take out his…  
The erect member that comes into view makes me cringe. I can't tell if I should be shocked, or just disgusted by the way he's showing it to me.  
I try to look away. Don't care where to. Just into another direction, even though I can't see into every corner. The light in here is just too bad.  
I can feel the heat radiating off his skin as he positions himself in front of my entrance. I've read about that kind of…_act_ before. But I never actually thought it would ever happen to me.  
Fear is pressing down on my chest, as he touches me more.  
And then I feel it. The sharp pain, as something huge fills me up and pushes inside, all the way to the hilt.  
I cry as loud as I can.  
My body feels like it's burning up, and doesn't even get the chance to adjust, whilst the guy is already moving rigorously.  
Every time a new wave of pain hits me, I look at him, even though I don't want to. The blank spot on my mind is getting wider and wider.  
And everything that's still there to progress is the picture of my father. Even though I still try to tell myself it's not true.  
The hot thing inside me isn't him.  
This hot, hard rod, that's playing inside me, making me moan and scream out for him. That's making me lose control.  
It's not…_him_.  
But I still think of him. Tears are flowing down my cheeks, as he fucks me relentlessly.  
Pushing harder; impaling me; crushing my insides and breaking me.  
My legs are flailing at the sight of his hips and the image that imprints on my mind, is the face of my father. His eyes that seem to burn into my own while he's screwing me into oblivion.  
I don't want to think about it. I don't want to look at him.  
The hot cock that's still rummaging around is getting faster. All I can do is grabbing the sheets on either side of my head and pray.  
Pray for it to stop. For _him_ to stop.  
"Please…stop…", is all I manage to get out, in between hard thrusts.  
I can hear him chuckling and as if it's his response, he's getting even faster. And _harder_.  
If this goes on, I might really get insane. But I don't care anymore.  
After a while, what seemed to be an eternity, I can feel his cock pulsing, as he gets more furious again. And then, after grabbing my hips bruising hard and holding me up, he aimed again and thrust probably as hard as he could.  
The pain was soon replaced with a sharp and seething wave of lust, as I moaned and cried out his name. Cried for my father, as he hit a certain spot inside me, what made me see stars.  
And not only ones.  
He hit it again. And again. Making me cry louder and breathe heavier.  
My entire body starts shaking; craving for him. As if it's not mine anymore.  
The tears run freely now. I don't know what to think.  
My mind has gone almost blank, long ago.  
I still feel him. His rough dick, slipping out to the tip, just to slam all the way back in. Again and again.  
In an agonizingly, unsteady rhythm.  
Until I hear him groan. The thing inside, that started to throb already a while ago, is now outright pulsating against my walls.  
The heat is still increasing, until he pulls me up to settle me down on his lap in one quick and hard thrust.  
The feeling of something wet and hot being pumped into me, filling me even more than before, while my body forces me to moan in ecstasy, as I come together with him, is everything I still consciously witness…more or less.

My shirt is sticking to my skin. The heat of the moment got the better of me…or how should I say it? I can't tell.  
It's all in a blur. But I know what I did.  
And I know what _he_ did.  
I just don't know _why._  
So I'm lying there. Watching him get up and smile at me, as he takes one hand to caress one side of my face, ignoring the tears that are still flowing.  
"You're really a good boy, you know that…", he chuckles.  
After that, he vanishes. Just like that. He's gone.  
And I'm still lying there. It seems as if he even put a blanket on me, to cover my legs and everything from my bellybutton downwards.  
But I couldn't care less, when someone eventually came inside.  
Not anyone. Not by chance.  
Someone from our family. Dino and someone else.  
He's looking down on me. But I can't move. Can't even react.  
Only watch them from my position. Just lying on the bed, one arm in front of my face; limb.  
One Hand grabs my shoulder and that is, when I first make a move.  
I stare at him; try to fight his hands off. Take the blanket like a shield and even though my entire body hurts and protests against even the smallest of movements, I back away; flee from him.  
Because his face makes me sick. His touches disgust me.  
And from the sitting position I'm in now, I can feel the strange fluid dribbling tickling out of my abused hole. It makes me shudder.  
If I could, I would gag. I feel like I really need to vomit.  
But I can't move again. The feeling in my body freezes me up.  
As if I'm…dead.  
Dead – but still breathing.  
Again, I don't react – I can't – as Dino is coming at me this time. I don't answer, as he asks what's wrong.  
Can only watch, as he's leaning closer, seeing the current state I'm in, under that stained blanket, and freezes as well.  
He will know what happened. Everyone will.  
But I can't say anything to defend myself. Nor do I have the strength think up an excuse.  
I can't.  
Can only stare, with my eyes wide open, hoping this is all just a dream.  
_But it isn't._

"Tsuna? Won't you eat something?", my mother's voice sounds worried.  
I understand so much. But I can't answer. What should I say?  
I can't even look at her. It's like the guilt tries to swallow me up from the inside.  
The throbbing hasn't gotten any better either. It's like he's still inside me.  
Still trying to 'make me feel good', huh? I would've laughed at it, if I could.  
But it wouldn't make anything better.  
Seems like the guy that did it, wanted something from my father – didn't have anything to do with me. But since he's an asshole, he hired some guy with the ability to shapeshift, or whatever he did to look like my father, to mess me up.  
To make me go insane – or at least hate my father, or something.  
Well, at least he managed to do _that._  
_Every_ time he's with me in the same room, I can't breathe. I can't speak.  
I need to get out.  
And all the others… I can't bear how the look at me.  
Even if I'm just imagining things, I can't take it.  
They know. They know what happened.  
I know they know and their faces tell me, that I'm just right.  
And even if I tell myself it's not over. Everything will be fine…  
I know it_ won't. _And it will never be.  
Not anymore.  
_And that's why I'm going to put an end to this myself._

It's the reason I'm here. On the roof of my school.  
Hibari will probably hate me for doing, what I'm about to do.  
But I won't care.  
It's the weekend and no one's here. No one – except for me.  
Maybe Hibari…but I didn't see him, so maybe I'm lucky. For the first time of my life.  
And probably also the last.  
As I'm looking down from the Rooftop, I wonder.  
How many times have I been here?  
Is that the first time, I came with that intent? I can't remember.  
I haven't slept in a week. I couldn't eat.  
But now, no one will have to worry about me anymore.  
I used to see my mind as an _empire._  
There's nothing to shatter it. I was always calm or happy.  
Sometimes, maybe a bit rash.  
Maybe a bit _too_ easy to scare.  
But never cloudy. Never that dark.  
I never let that happen.  
Never before…  
But now it's gone and so will I be.

_Like my own state of mind._


End file.
